Luigi vs Hercule Satan: Death Battle

Bulbabutt: Alrighty, the combatants are set. It's time for a Death Battle!

----------------------------------------

Annual XXth Cell Games.

"Alright folks! It's time for the first round of the Cell Games!" Cell said in a loud voice, just so he could yell in a loud voice. "Between two weaklings who can't do anything right!

But before that, a little comic relief. Make this entertaining! Bring on the trash!"

Two trash cans from the sky and landed on the sides of the Cell Game Arena away from each other. They both stayed silent and didn't move.

"...Nu, did you leave them alive?"

"Yes Cell."

"...Huh."

Two minutes later

"...Anyone in there?"

Silence from the two cans...

"WAKE THE HELL UP!"

"W-W-Woah!"

"MAMA MIA!" The two figures emerged from the cans. "FINALLY! The half-time show round is about to commence!"

Luigi and Hercule looked eachother in the face; Luigi cowering in fear.

"Haha! You look pretty scared you know! Wouldn't blame you! I'm HERCULE!"

Luigi slowly pulled out his hammer. "W-Woah... I d-don't do hammers, sorry green dude!"

"The camera ready Nu?... Yes?... Okay! THREE, TWO, ONE...

FIGHT!"

Hercule had very little trouble starting up the fight. He ran up to Luigi quickly and chopped his neck. "Haha! I got this one in the bag!" Hercule jumped into the air and slammed Luigi into the ground with one foot. "You shouldn't have challenged the World Champion!"

Luigi felt his head, and hit the little cartoon bump. Looking up, he angrily let out a snarl and smacked Hercule across with his hammer, sending the brown-clad champion across the arena. Luigi didn't let him fly away however, pulling him towards Luigi with the Poltergust. When Hercule was already near him...

BSSHHHIIIINNNNG!

The Super Jump Punch had successfully worked. Luigi looked up and waited for Hercule to come down.

And waited...

And waited...

Slowly, Hercule was descending, a jetpack on his back. "Haha! I have not failed yet!" Luigi looked up, and then cowered in fear again. "Hey, don't be afraid green man. I got ya a game!" Hercule then opened his shirt pocket and had a Game Boy. Luigi clapped his hands and grabbed it.

"Hehe..." Hercule then reached into his pocket again and pulled out a big red button.

Beeep.

"LUIGI BEAT A LEVEL! YA-HOO!"

BOOOM!

Luigi was thrown into the air, spinning. Hercule reacted fast and kicked Luigi off the grey arena. Luigi got up off the ground, and turned to his foe. Immediately Luigi fired green fireballs from his hand. Hercule grinned and jumped over all of them. Hercule's jump was so massive, he landed behind Luigi and punched him in the back.

"Yer' taking a flight!" Hercule bent down and grabbed the plumber's legs. The champion threw Luigi into the air, and followed after him. Hercule kicked Luigi away, back to the grey area. Luigi put his acrobatics to the test, and handstanded his way back to balance. When he finally got steady, Luigi flipped to his feet, and turned to face the champion, who just punched his belly.

But... It didn't hurt!

Tap Tap Tap Tap Tap...


Luigi just stood there laughing at Hercule, pointing his finger at the martial artists.

"YER' ALL WASHED UP!" One quick punch to Luigi's stomach sent him bouncing in a straight line.  As Luigi got back to his feet, he put his hands together and ran towards Hercule. As Luigi moved his hands apart, electrical sparks appeared. Punching Hercule resulted in electrical sparks flying around him. Pulling out his hammer, he slammed Hercule into the ground below him. As he remained stuck there, Luigi laughed and jumped on him.

"H-Hey you! You better watch it!" Hercule broke himself out of the ground and kicked Luigi across the face. Luigi quickly got back to his senses and sissy punched him multiple times. As Luigi opened his eyes, Hercule was already a good distance away from him. Luigi turned confused before hearing a little beep sound on the ground.

BOOOM!

Luigi quickly grabbed the Power Flower. Seconds before the explosion, he disappeared into thin air. Hercule looked around confused. "H-Hey?!? Where'd you go!"

Hercule frantically searched the area. Then all of a sudden, he was frozen in place.

Luigi, now visible, proudly held the Poltergust to his side as he pulled out his hammer once more. "LUIGI TIME!" With that, he knocked Hercule away with the hammer, watching him crash into a rock as it broke. Luigi did a victory dance, before faceplanting.

"It'll take more than that to stop me you crook!" Hercule picked up Luigi and threw him onto the grey arena, slamming him down by his head!

BSSSH!

Something in Luigi raged. As if there was a feeling that he could not lose this fight, no matter what. Quickly he uppercutted Hercule and spun around multiple times. Kicking him away, Luigi started charging up, as if he was trying to take a big dump in his overalls.

"You won't beat me!" Hercule started charging up Ki, and the two flew at eachother so fast you might miss it if you blinked.

Not like this stuff is animated...

An explosion that covered the whole arena occurred.

But there was only one victor.

Hercule's gut exploded with the sheer force Luigi put into his charge. He had luckily exploded on launch, which was very convenient. Hercule's stomach didn't just break on contact; it was ripped right open, with blood splattered everywhere.

Luigi rolled along the ground, the blood against his face. Somehow he had caught Hercule's jetpack along in his arm. Luigi slowly got up and looked at the crowd. They were all smiling at him, clapping and cheering.

Luigi smiled and let out a victorious pose. "Yeah, Luigi Number One!"

"Good job buddy!" With that, Cell teleported next to Luigi and kicked him into the trash can that he appeared under. Cell picked up Hercules and threw him into the sun before wiping off his hands. "Alright, now let's get on with the actual fighting and not these sissies! Nu, my good side..."

"Got it Cell!"

"Alrighty! Welcome to the Cell Games!..."

K.O.!

--------------------------------------------

Bulbabutt: And at the end of the day, we learn that Cell always wins.

Soulless: While Hercule is stronger than the average man, Luigi is a superhuman. His power, durability, and mobility simply surpassed Hercule.

Hazama: Rock and roll McDonalds... Rock and roll McDonalds....

*SLAP*

Hazama: A-And Luigi, while being cowardly, eventually overcame his problems at hand. Hercule didn't even attempt.

Bulbabutt: The Winner is Cell.

Soulless: The Winner is Luigi.

Luigi:

+Stronger

+Attacks were more diversed and unpredictable

+All of Hercule's attacks had little effect

+Versatility

+Actually fights the foes


Hercule:

+Braver

+More experience

+Better hand to hand combat

+Faster

-Lost everything else


Soulless: Now then, because this was a shorter battle, we will say that we may do a review on one of the worst films ever made...

Bulbabutt: Batman and Robin...

Soulless: NOOOOOOOOOO!

Hazama: Rock and roll McDonalds....